Markus N.

Shame

Mon, 30 Nov 2009 07:49:45 GMT

Yesterday the offspring and I discussed possible destinations for emigration.

I know that I have to seriously probe my conscience once I start voting with the majority. But in this case...

Thu, 30 Apr 2009 06:38:31 GMT

Just how punny can you get?

Time for my yearly posting of bleeding heart liberal leftist anti war propaganda

Fri, 24 Apr 2009 17:47:41 GMT

One of the best songs ever written, in my book

Now when I was a young man I carried me pack
And I lived the free life of the rover.
From the Murray's green basin to the dusty outback,
Well, I waltzed my Matilda all over.
Then in 1915, my country said, "Son,
It's time you stop ramblin', there's work to be done."
So they gave me a tin hat, and they gave me a gun,
And they marched me away to the war.

And the band played "Waltzing Matilda,"
As the ship pulled away from the quay,
And amidst all the cheers, the flag waving, and tears,
We sailed off for Gallipoli.

And how well I remember that terrible day,
How our blood stained the sand and the water;
And of how in that hell that they call Suvla Bay
We were butchered like lambs at the slaughter.
Johnny Turk, he was waitin', he primed himself well;
He showered us with bullets, and he rained us with shell --
And in five minutes flat, he'd blown us all to hell,
Nearly blew us right back to Australia.

But the band played "Waltzing Matilda,"
When we stopped to bury our slain,
Well, we buried ours, and the Turks buried theirs,
Then we started all over again.

And those that were left, well, we tried to survive
In that mad world of blood, death and fire.
And for ten weary weeks I kept myself alive
Though around me the corpses piled higher.
Then a big Turkish shell knocked me arse over head,
And when I woke up in me hospital bed
And saw what it had done, well, I wished I was dead --
Never knew there was worse things than dying.

For I'll go no more "Waltzing Matilda,"
All around the green bush far and free --
To hump tents and pegs, a man needs both legs,
No more "Waltzing Matilda" for me.

So they gathered the crippled, the wounded, the maimed,
And they shipped us back home to Australia.
The armless, the legless, the blind, the insane,
Those proud wounded heroes of Suvla.
And as our ship sailed into Circular Quay,
I looked at the place where me legs used to be,
And thanked Christ there was nobody waiting for me,
To grieve, to mourn and to pity.

But the band played "Waltzing Matilda,"
As they carried us down the gangway,
But nobody cheered, they just stood and stared,
Then they turned all their faces away.

And so now every April, I sit on my porch
And I watch the parade pass before me.
And I see my old comrades, how proudly they march,
Reviving old dreams of past glory,
And the old men march slowly, all bones stiff and sore,
They're tired old heroes from a forgotten war
And the young people ask "What are they marching for?"
And I ask meself the same question.

But the band plays "Waltzing Matilda,"
And the old men still answer the call,
But as year follows year, more old men disappear
Someday, no one will march there at all.

Waltzing Matilda, waltzing Matilda.
Who'll come a-waltzing Matilda with me?
And their ghosts may be heard as they march by the billabong,
Who'll come a-Waltzing Matilda with me?

Tue, 15 Jul 2008 08:41:49 GMT

"until women can put aside the pain of being used and preyed upon and until blokes can understand that human beings hurt and the hurt is shared by both sexes then we will go nowhere."

Attributed to Joe Jackson

Sorry for being such a lousy friend. Love ya all the same.

Latest Family Members

Tue, 04 Jul 2006 14:17:12 GMT

06-06-21

Wed, 21 Jun 2006 07:19:25 GMT

Happy Summer Solstice, all.

(Those on the northern hemisphere, anyway. And those in the south: cheer up. Brighter days ahead.)

Also: Lepidoptera abdominalis feel good.

Mon, 27 Mar 2006 07:18:30 GMT

))<>((

I want to make this my icon. Seriously. And I don't mean on LJ.

It even makes Google glitch.

Just because I can

Fri, 24 Feb 2006 18:35:12 GMT

XXX-posted.

Tat's rant

Mon, 13 Feb 2006 12:19:02 GMT

Had to steal that from Tatsuya Ishida

Should auld acquaintance be forgot
And never brought to mind?
Hell yeah
If they were assholes to you and left you in the lurch when you needed them the most
Then by all means forget them
But you can't
Cuz they're all you think about And you seethe with resentment and anguish
And you plumb the depths of your emo soul
Where your every thought is:
How could you do this to meeeeeeee?
You wish there was a memory deleting service like in "Eternal Sunshine" and you'd delete that motherfucker right outta your mind
Am I right?
Huh?
Anyone?
Okay, so maybe it's just me
Fine
I can handle it
Happy new year.
Fuckers.
*sob*

Hey, I'm not proud of it. It's just the way it is. Minus the *sob*, that is.

So, Tat, It's not just you.

Back by popular demand

Thu, 19 Jan 2006 21:09:13 GMT

You know who you are.

So this is a report on the status of the Ni. Status about sums it up. Not much moves. I struggle to make my life work between a full-time job, maintaining a house that is about 50% too large (I don't want to subject the kids to a change of their whole surroundings as well), two teenagers and their Waldorf school.

Good thing is that I have the support of quite a few wonderful friends.

Bad thing is that I haven't conquered the insecurities that come with the failure of a 20 y+ romantic relationship. In fact I am at the end (I hope) of a major backslide phase. Corrent mood is that if the Universe insists on fucking with me I can pretty much tell it to go fuck itself. I don't care.

It's not as easy as that, of course. the human is a social animal, and as much I sometimes try pretend that i not really am, I am one as well. Just not very good at it. And I hate the 'deal' character that social relationships have. I wanted to believe (still want to) that it's not so much "I try to get more out of the bargain than I invest". Bad thing about this attitude is that you open yourself wide up to the bargain hunters. But then, so be it. If there's one thing I wouldn't change about my marriage it is that I made myself vulnerable. If the price of staying unharmed is wearing protection at all times I am rather hurt.

OK, that doesn't sound very positive. It's better than that, really, but i'm in a bit of a rut today.

Black Woodpecker

Thu, 27 Oct 2005 11:14:43 GMT

So I was out walking a few days ago and there's this piece of bark falling down from a tree. I didn't think anything about it and walked on. Then a short while later I came back the same route, and sure enough, another piece of bark. I notice that ther's a whole mess down on the tramac. And more's falling. So I look up, expecting a squirrel or something (though they normally bombard you with scales of pinecones.

Sure enough there's a largish black woodpecker up there, happily hacking away at a dead branch. That guy is almost as large as a crow, and has one strong chisel set in his head. He went about his business completely undisturbed by my presence, quite unlike the spotted woodpecker that I also often see there.

I guess that such an encounter makes me happy makes me a geek. And I also guess so does me noticing and linking that English allows weird sentences such as the last one.

If I ever wanted to believe a crappy newspaper horoscope that would be today:

Wed, 26 Oct 2005 10:34:38 GMT

Today begins a year long journey into a different world. You may socialise more, visit places you've dreamed of and have wishes come true. The way you inter-relate with people improves and new friendships spring up, perhaps through being included in a different social circle. Your hopes for the future become brighter and more optimistic.

"What a ride"

Tue, 11 Oct 2005 11:07:16 GMT

"The object of life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting, 'Holy Shit, What a Ride!!!'" -- Mavis Leyrer

Every time I want to qute this statement I have to google it, so I thought I'd put it here. There are a multitude of versions of it, of course.

Seems i'm just posting quotes these days. OK, within a week you'll have an update on the state of the Ni, promised.

Memorable Quote

Tue, 27 Sep 2005 08:46:32 GMT

Reputation is what others know about you. Honor is what you know about yourself. Guard your honor and let your reputation fall where it may.

Fri, 19 Aug 2005 08:21:11 GMT

Somebody give me my life back. Pretty please?

Seen on Art36

Mon, 20 Jun 2005 07:31:49 GMT

HOW EASILY I COULD FALL IN HOW EASILY I COULD FALL IN
LOVE WITH YOU WHO DO NOT LOVE WITH YOU WHO DO NOT
WANT TO BE TOUCHED AND YET WANT TO BE TOUCHED AND YET
I DO NOT WANT TO FALL IN I DO NOT WANT TO FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU NOR YOU WITH LOVE WITH YOU NOR YOU WITH ME HOW EASILY I COULD FALL ME HOW EASILY I COULD FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU WHO DO IN LOVE WITH YOU WHO DO NOT WANT TO BE TOUCHED AND NOT WANT TO BE TOUCHED AND YET I DO NOT WANT TO FALL YET I DO NOT WANT TO FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU NOR YOU IN LOVE WITH YOU NOR YOU WITH ME HOW EASILY I COULD WITH ME HOW EASILY I COULD FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU WHO FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU WHO DO NOT WANT TO BE TOUCHED DO NOT WANT TO BE TOUCHED AND YET I DO NOT WANT TO AND YET I DO NOT WANT TO FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU NOR FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU NOR YOU WITH ME HOW EASILY I YOU WITH ME HOW EASILY I COULD FALL IN LOVE WITH COULD FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU WHO DO NOT WANT TO BE YOU WHO DO NOT WANT TO BE TOUCHED AND YET I DO NOT TOUCHED AND YET I DO NOT WANT TO FALL IN LOVE WITH WANT TO FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU NOR YOU WITH ME HOW YOU NOR YOU WITH ME HOW EASILY I COULD FALL IN EASILY I COULD FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU WHO DO NOT LOVE WITH YOU WHO DO NOT WANT TO BE TOUCHED AND YET WANT TO BE TOUCHED AND YET I DO NOT WANT TO F ALL IN I DO NOT WANT TO F ALL IN LOVE WITH YOU NOR YOU WITH LOVE WITH YOU NOR YOU WITH ME HOW EASILY I COULD FALL ME HOW EASILY I COULD FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU WHO DO IN LOVE WITH YOU WHO DO NOT WANT TO BE TOUCHED AND NOT WANT TO BE TOUCHED AND YET I DO NOT WANT TO FALL YET I DO NOT WANT TO FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU NOR YOU IN LOVE WITH YOU NOR YOU WITH ME HOW EASILY I COULD WITH ME HOW EASILY I COULD FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU WHO FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU WHO DO NOT WANT TO BE TOUCHED DO NOT WANT TO BE TOUCHED AND YET I DO NOT WANT TO AND YET I DO NOT WANT TO FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU NOR FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU NOR YOU WITH ME HOW EASILY I YOU WITH ME HOW EASILY I COULD FALL IN LOVE WITH COULD FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU WHO DO NOT WANT TO BE YOU WHO DO NOT WANT TO BE TOUCHED AND YET I DO NOT TOUCHED AND YET I DO NOT WANT TO FALL IN LOVE WITH WANT TO FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU NOR YOU WITH ME HOW YOU NOR YOU WITH ME HOW EASILY I COULD FALL IN EASILY I COULD FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU WHO DO NOT LOVE WITH YOU WHO DO NOT WANT TO BE TOUCHED AND YET WANT TO BE TOUCHED AND YET I DO NOT WANT TO F ALL IN I DO NOT WANT TO F ALL IN LOVE WITH YOU NOR YOU WITH LOVE WITH YOU NOR YOU WITH ME HOW EASILY I COULD FALL ME HOW EASILY I COULD FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU WHO DO IN LOVE WITH YOU WHO DO NOT WANT TO BE TOUCHED AND NOT WANT TO BE TOUCHED AND YET I DO NOT WANT TO FALL YET I DO NOT WANT TO FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU NOR YOU IN LOVE WITH YOU NOR YOU WITH ME HOW EASILY I COULD WITH ME HOW EASILY I COULD damn. i wish that didn't strike this close to home. fuk that. Going to format that later.

Wed, 26 Jan 2005 08:21:05 GMT

Inspired by Billijean's post:

I loved th whisper of the bike's tires on the thin coat of fresh snow. Where the bike paths hadn't been afflicted with road salt, that is.

Still, it was a peaceful ride this morning.

Peace of mind comes easier to me these days, it would seem.

stupid "who are you" tests, but I had to take this one

Tue, 25 Jan 2005 12:35:11 GMT

Is fate trying to tell me something

Tue, 18 Jan 2005 16:16:26 GMT

The last about five folks I have checked out on LJ because I found their posts interesting have turned out to be gay men. Have I been missing my destiny in life?

Survey

Thu, 06 Jan 2005 09:27:54 GMT

If you don't mind I'll do a little experiment with you here. Please answer without looking at other comments first. Please answer only if you don't know the meme from previous exposure, and please don't try to be facetious but answer just with the first word that springs up in your mind.

1. Name a colour. Any colour.
2. And a second one.

3. Name a tool.
4. And a second one.

5. What is you mother tongue?
6. Where did you grow up?

Thanks!

Stolen from Posey, who is TEH AWSOME

Wed, 01 Dec 2004 21:30:28 GMT

Somebody smack me for just having used coolspeak (or whatever it's called).

1. Reply to this post if you want me to tell you how cool you are!
2. Watch my journal over the next few days for a post just about you and why you rock my socks.
3. Post these instructions in your journal and give your friends a much needed dose of love and adoration!

Tue, 30 Nov 2004 12:12:15 GMT

Must remember this from time to time.

Stupid test

Mon, 29 Nov 2004 09:03:09 GMT


aircraft is love
brought to you by the isLove Generator

Humans piss me off today

Tue, 02 Nov 2004 10:10:58 GMT

I am just in a pissy mood. Separation sucks. Having to care for egocentric teenagers sucks. Plus I had to learn yesterday that I have to get used to write for as-good-as-analphabets. This is obviously where our society is headed, and we're helping it along. Which sucks.

Gotta get out this lunch break and enjoy nature. This at least just lives, gives birth and dies. Eat and get eaten. No social mush which in the end just comes down to eat and get eaten and pretends to be something more. And it manages to be beautiful into the bargain.

Need to carry my camera again. I have pretty much given up on this the last half year or so.

Move along folks, nothing to see here.

A great friend I am

Fri, 15 Oct 2004 07:30:09 GMT

Dumping my desperation on you and then leaving without updating.

OK, so here's the situation.

Re has left me to live with the other guy. I stay in the house with the kids. She still is in town daily for work and takes care of the kids (mainly cooking lunches) when they are here during the week. Weekends are subject to individual negotiation. Nothing final done about divorce yet, though she says she wants it; I am not sure if she is taking legal measures on her end. I won't push it forward at the moment, though financially it would be sensible to have filed until end of Oct.

We speak amicably, but not very often. I try to give her space. I don't let this situation push me in a hole as it would have without me resisting valiantly. There are days when I see the chance in the new situation. There are days I am just angry at being dumped like old clothing.

What angers me most is that this comes at the moment when I was seeing light at the end of the tunnel; when life's responsibilities were easing up a bit; when there was the opportunity to enjoy life once more. Now she goes along to enjoy it with somebody else. I was OK to help carry the burden, now please go ahead and have fun by yourself. OK, so be it.

I am working on my outlook on life. Working on being less codependent. Working on not letting this make me even more jaded.

And then, I'm just working. Suddenly having responsibility for a household with two kids after eleven hour days, and wanting to re-organize lots of things in this household does that to you.

I am also seeing a therapist; something I had better done ten years ago but was afraid of for fear of being told "get rid of your family as it weighs you down" (I have seen it happen). Not sure if that is doing any good now, but I'll have another session before I decide anything on that front.